I’ve started writing in a journal. Since it is hard for me to express how I really feel out loud verbally. Writing helps to give me the visual script needed in order to better explain to myself and others how I feel. I wish Autism did not carry the stigmas that it does. When you mention Autism, people tend to assume that you are less intelligent than the average NT.
Perhaps what is most frustrating to me is that I know how intelligent I am, even if I am not very good at showing / telling others. In my head, I have complex ideas, and endless knowledge an many topics. My inability to verbally express all that is going on behind the curtain is something I struggle with.
People love the fact that I do not argue with others. In reality, I can’t argue with others and often shut down if I try. My verbal language difficulties leave me mute from time to time, and the added stress of an argument makes this phenomenon almost inevitable.
Leaving me unable to speak.