Aspies – We Need to Toughen Up

I’ve been fairly successful in life because I push myself. I don’t have a big house, fancy car, or name brand things, but our modest home and practical vehicles serve us just fine. We life day to day, paycheck to paycheck, but life is good. We have what we need.

Every day I push myself to my limits – as I write this blog I am struggling through sensory overload just trying to get words out.

When I’ve gone too long without refreshing my batteries I sometimes get sensory overload. Many people now understand that sensory overload is something that many Aspies struggle with, but my sensory overload is a bit different.

All of my senses seem to connect to two parts of my body – my head and my stomach. Most of the time when I am worn down I will get a “headache”. Naps or long hot baths are often an excellent cure when all of my characteristic Aspie anxiety ends up in my head. I can (and do) push past a headache for a few hours if I need to get through my work day, although if I go too long I might cry.

Headaches are horrible but when everything shifts to my stomach I am crippled. every sound, smell, or movement, makes me gag. Sometimes all I cam do is like in bed in a quiet room but not today.

Today I am fighting the swirling nausea. I am choking down the urge to vomit. I’ve got work in five minutes and I’ve got a life to get to. My job lets me work from home fairly often, so on days like this – when I wonder how many hours of my life have been spent with my head in a toilet – are my own little secret. Never let them see you sweat.

Toughen up Aspies – the world doesn’t understand us yet, so we have to fight to fit in.  I am sick but I am pushing myself as hard as I can.


24 thoughts on “Aspies – We Need to Toughen Up”

  1. Good message. Though sometimes it is better to take a break, sit down and be weak and say “I need help.” Not because the world had accepted Pele with asperger’s, but because every human needs rest and I think it’s strong to say that.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. That is very true. But sometimes it is most important to get through something that we can actually get through even if it is uncomfortable. If I refused to go to work because the lights bother me vs finding acceptable solutions to my problems – like spending less consecutive hours at the office, sitting in a room with natural light, and wearing shades in doors if needed. I find ways to get through things vs letting them defeat me. Sometimes things are too much and I will stop – but if I have the power to overcome something and the outcome is worth it than I do. 🙂

      Liked by 2 people

  2. Reblogged this on Under Your Radar and commented:
    I concur. I find pushing myself and disregarding the nagging issues I have (they’re probably never going away, anyway) to be the only way I can live a full and productive life. The minute I fall into a “disabled” mindset about myself, I start to spiral downhill. This is NOT a judgment of folks who are disabled. It’s simply my own attitude and orientation in life.

    Never let them see you sweat, is right. I’d rather be choking back nausea for days on end (which I often do) and be fully functional, than accommodate myself and have just a fraction of the activity I have.

    Life needs to be lived, and it’s not waiting for me to feel better. If I do that, I will never. ever. do. anything.

    Nice post.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I think the definition of push is different as each ASD person is different. I am used to pushing so hard that I melt down and harm myself and sadly, others. I stayed too long in a loud store around a loud kid, and maxed out my nervous system. It is still hard to learn my limits. I have a go-at-it (whatever it is) attitude and have a hard time pacing myself. I need to be more kind to myself and take things slower, but not give up, which has been a struggle for me lately.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Great post . Currently really trying to support my son with overload. As a mum I don’t want him to become disconnected from everyone, but I recognise he needs to listen to his body and if naps / rest/ alone time are needed then so be it. Trying to find a balance – want him to remain sociable … Mum worries!

    Love anyone to comment /support our journey

    Keep writing – love it 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. The important thing is to keep trying and keep getting out there. I have to continuously push so that I know where my limits are. Pushing past my limits can be dangerous but the more I push the more I learn when I need to stop. Ironic – isn’t it?

      Liked by 1 person

  5. I fully agree with you, from your point of view. But from mine, I beg to differ. Maybe it’s been too long for me to hide, maybe I finally don’t want to hide, maybe I just want ro be myself…
    Maybe just for now.
    I just started to feel something else besides the shame to be “from another planet”, I just want to have my place in this universe to which each of us in entitled, where no one laughs at me because at over 50, three degrees and another under way, six languages spoken, I am happy with my earplugs and my small rag monkey because its texrure calms my sensory overloaded brain…
    If I’ll toughen up, I’ll do it for those who don’t want to toughen up.
    As for those who want to toughen up, I’ll toughen up for their right to feel good about their toughening up 😊😇

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Everyone’s version of toughening up is different. I am not saying that any of that is wrong. For me just going out into the world is tough. Sometimes even getting out of bed is tough but I do it even if it hurts. the important thing is to keep trying and keep getting out there. I have to continuously push so that I know where my limits are. Pushing past my limits can be dangerous but the more I push the more I learn when I need to stop. Ironic – isn’t it?

      Liked by 2 people

      1. I makes better sense now, especially the last two sentences.
        Never thought of it like that, probably because I’ve burnt myself so many times. I actually feel like if I wouldn’t be forced by existential circumstances, I’d rather silently vegetate than expose myself to more frustration and pain. But then, if I do, I’ll just fade into oblivion the first instance my circumstances won’t force me anymore into pushing my own boundaries. So I guess you’re right. Toughening up might make sense. Thank you for detailing. My mind doesn’t go beyond the written statement, taking it literally at it’s epistemological value.

        Liked by 1 person

  6. I think you are remarkably strong person. It’s admirable that you can think objectively about your issues and have a game plan. I like that you push yourself to do hard things. My Aspie son is not there yet,;we’re still filling his ‘tool box’ with executive functions & social etiquette. However, your posts help me help him and I thank you.

    Liked by 2 people

  7. I agree. The world doesn’t bend over backwards for anyone. Just like other people have the things that they need to control I have my autism that I need to control. I’m not the only person in the world that has something to contend with, lots of people have it a lot worse. I don’t always do a great job of it but I do it.

    Liked by 2 people

  8. It’s fine to push ourselves, as long as we take a break at times, and do things that relax us and make us happy occasionally. I, too, experience chronic sensory and information overload. I have a husband, 2 sons ages 14 and 21, and a house. It is pretty overwhelming, but I am blessed and thankful for what I have.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Not pushing yourself at all/being complacent is as bad as pushing yourself too far/being psychologically destructive to yourself. Just like with everything else in life, there has got to be a balance.

    Liked by 1 person

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