A powerful hashtag (#SheCantBeAutistic) has been blowing up on Twitter this month bringing attention to an issue that I’ve been talking about a lot recently.

I was not diagnosed until I was 30 years old because people thought #SheCantBeAutistic.

They were wrong. I am Autistic and I spent too many years waiting to find that out.

Below are just a few of the reasons that I “can’t be Autistic”.

#SheCantBeAutistic – she has a great job.

#SheCantBeAutistic – she pays her bills on time.

#SheCantBeAutistic – she works full time.

#SheCantBeAutistic – she has a husband.

#SheCantBeAutistic – she has pets.

#SheCantBeAutistic – she is too smart.

#SheCantBeAutistic – she wears makeup.

#SheCantBeAutistic – she bathes.

#SheCantBeAutistic – she is very talkative.

#SheCantBeAutistic – her imagination is rally good.

#SheCantBeAutistic – she has feelings.

#SheCantBeAutistic – she knows how to read and write.

#SheCantBeAutistic – she is successful in life.

#SheCantBeAutistic – she seems happy and warm.


32 thoughts on “#SheCantBeAutistic”

  1. We know that Autism in girls appears differently than in boys. I had a developmental psych lab i took last semester. I got to look at 3 papers of my choice and look at them and question them. All my topics were related to Autism. I think two of them focused on Autism in Girls. Theres so many things that can contribute to a girl being missed in being diagnosed.
    Something i don’t think a lot of people think about is that behaviors of girls that could be considered repetitive, intense focuses that could be labeled as that are often accepted ways for girls to act. What happens when you take behavior that could be repetitive or special interests and normalize them? It becomes easy to completly miss diagnosing girls with Autism. Girls are also more social than boys in general. I know that each individual is different.
    A girl that could be on the spectrum could still be as if not more social than a boy who is not on the spectrum. And there are different aspects of Autism a given person could have to deal with. Girls can and do have Autism.

    Liked by 4 people

  2. My father had Asperger’s back when it was not diagnosed. He was one of the most loyal and gentle souls you could ever imagine. He held down a full-time job, supported his wife (my mother with severe schizophrenia) of 45 years, paid his bills, and studied many interesting subjects such as foreign languages and high-level mathematics until literally the end, when he was too sick from cancer to do so. And he also missed some of the “obvious” social cues over the years, which could be inadvertently hurtful. He was a very good man, one I miss daily. To me, he is a reminder that Autism is not always what the hate groups (e.g., Autism Speaks) would have you believe… Autism can mean loyalty, a passion for social justice, and commitment to family and friends. Perhaps not always in “normal” (a.k.a., “neurotypical”) ways, but in ways that truly matter. In any case, thank you for this post and for your blog. They are always thought-provoking and I am grateful for them.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much for sharing your father’s story! I think it is important that people realize that Autism / Asperger’s is not something that is new it is just we are more aware of Autism than ever. Autism definitely runs in families and your father sounds JUST like my grandfather. I suspect my grandfather and mother BOTH had Autistic traits on their sides of the family – ESPECIALLY my grandmother’s side.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Reblogged this on autisticaplanet's autism and commented:
    I have been told I don’t appear to be autistic-when children and dogs aren’t around and it’s quiet and predictable. No wonder people have said this to me in my home or in a quiet small shop.
    Thanks to Anna for sharing.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much for the re-blog!

      I think this is something that many of us ladies struggle with.

      You should see me when my dogs are hyper. I sometimes end up rocking back and forth in my chair with my hands over my ears humming… some days I really can’t even handle it and not crying takes all my strength.

      People don’t see that part of me I keep my fragile parts hidden. People only see my strengths and assume I have no weaknesses. ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  4. I think people only see the extremes in autism-the silicon valley autistic who may be married and have kids or the non-verbal autistic who lives with their parents or in a facilitated care setting. I seem to be a cross between the two-minus having any trace of tech smarts. Thank you for sharing.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much for sharing. I agree 100% and feel I fall somewhere in between as well.

      I know I can’t have kids because of my sensory issues.

      With pets I can go in another room and shut the door and wear ear protection but with kids – if you do that with a crying baby I THINK you might go to jail… not sure.

      I get by but I am definitely limited and have to respect that. Its hard when your entire family is like “when are you having kids”…. ummm – never.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Don’t let them every make you feel ashamed of that, either. I have told a few people, “You want ’em, you have ’em.” Sometimes being totally direct is the only way to shut pushy people who refuse to understand up. I can’t even be near a dog. I do have a cat-which likes my sister and tolerates me. Because of lack of closeness with her, I also have an anamatromic cat.

        Liked by 1 person

  5. This is exactly what we found when we sought getting a diagnosis for our 16 year old. In fact, she’s the one who diagnosed herself. When I approached her doctor, I was almost dismissed — but I’d gotten to the point where I knew what the diagnosis would be and we were ready for it. And that has been the biggest blessing for my girl who has learned so much about herself and is now a college freshman learning to navigate the world a little more on her own. I look forward to more of your blog!

    Liked by 1 person

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