There are a lot of stigmas and stereotypes associated with Autism. I often feel a sense of unease because I don’t fit into any box society has for me. I don’t want to fit into the box – but still society keeps shoving.
I don’t fit. The box is too small and my mind is too big. It hurts.
People see me during the good times, when I am feeling happy and healthy, because I don’t go out when I am feeling sick. People never see me struggle, people don’t see me sweat.
I don’t talk about my Sensory Processing Disorder with people much in person. I’ve had people tell me that “everybody feels that way sometimes”. I am never sure if it is because I hide my pain so well or if the people who say this are undiagnosed Aspies. The doubt makes me keep my crazy tendencies to myself.
When I have sensory issues I implode and cannot handle anything. I have to be alone in a calm, dark spot. I am in imaginable pain and this happens to me more often than I would like to admit. This is the me that nobody sees. The broken and sick me that I hide.
We spend so much energy trying to act normal and blend in. Why do we feel this way – hiding?
We should not be made to feel shame for way we are wired. It’s not fair.
Do you related to the video today? I feel so much of what she has to say. I take NO credit for this video but felt it needed to be shared.