“You’re obsessed with your Autism. Ever since your diagnosis you talk about it all the time. You never spoke about these problems before.”
Keep in mind NONE of these people know about my blog. Imagine how obsessed they would think I was if they knew I had an Autism blog and contributed to a popular disability website. These are things that certain people will never understand.
I want to help. People should not have to suffer in silence.
I never know what to say in face to face conversations with friends and loved ones who doubt.
Finally after years of suffering in silence I am talking, speaking up and trying to speak out. Face to face the words never come.
My entire life I was “sick”. Doctors could not find anything physically wrong with me. They told my mother it was all in my head and that I needed to toughen up.
Finally I have an answer. The truth – and it feels liberating.
As a child I was tired of being looked at like I was crazy and told that I complained too much so I stopped complaining. Nobody believed me anyway.
Just because I stopped talking about my discomfort does not mean it went away.
I still lived with constant headaches, nausea, and even physical pain – the more severe symptoms of my Sensory Processing Disorder. Before I would suffer, pretending everything was alright, smiling through the pain.
“You used to be such a positive person.”
Now that I advocate for myself and speak up with I am uncomfortable or not feeling well I am a “negative person”.
Why does this stigma still exist? I’m not trying to be negative, I’m sharing my world with you or asking for help.
Nobody wants to know how you are really feeling.
People have accused me of using my diagnosis to get out of things, but really the things I try to get away from now are things that have caused me pain my entire life.
People can be down right nasty when you try to paint Autism in a positive light. They feel as if you are dismissing their struggle, but I feel like there is already enough information on the internet talking about all the hardships and problems. If you don’t know where to look that is all you’ll find.
My diagnosis is a little paper that says “You’re not crazy – yes your body does have a mind of it’s own. Love yourself.” I chose not to get hung up on the negative and try to always focus on the positive.
“Anna is an exceptionally bright woman on the Autism Spectrum she suffers from [. . .] ” Let’s not worry about the list that comes next. I can’t live my life drowning in negativity.
I’m not a special snowflake. I am just a girl trying to live an authentic life while loving and accepting herself – Autism and all.