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Autistic Confessions – I’m Always Early

I try to make sure I arrive EARLY for everything even if that means I am sitting in my car for a half hour before I need to go inside.

Being early is good for my mental health. I have less stress when I give myself extra time for things.

Being late is bad for me. If I am late to thinks I get VERY anxious. I start to panic when I am driving so I always give myself extra time whenever I have to drive.

Some jobs are more lenient – my current one is very flexible and this helps to alleviate some of my stress. Still I have a strong desire to be early and a huge aversion to being late.

An anxiety driven monster – running from the clock.

That is why I am always early.

 

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38 thoughts on “Autistic Confessions – I’m Always Early”

  1. BLM
    Changing your change, to change with change is the changeless state. Be adaptable, you will remain in a changeless state, become comfortable with Change. Fear and and anxiety is overstated in our society. Loneliest path is the path to actualization. To understand your fear is really the beginning of your seeing. If not ready for X Y Z, what do I need to accomplish in order to get there. -Bruce

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes, I deal with change and anxiety . I have them but do not let them control me. Unfortunately as an Aspie I have a harder time with changes and anxiety than most people – can’t let it stop me but it’s constant.

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    2. Easier said than done when you have a disorder which makes the mind do things in its own way for its own reasons. Never an excuse to stop trying but I liked this blog post because there is a level of acceptance and understanding. When you have acceptance and understanding there is always room to grow. Some things we just know are better for us. Getting there early is not JUST for people like me and her but actually a normal and smart thing to do in my opinion. With insane traffic drivers and the many unknowns, why not be prepared and leave time for the calmness of the drive. Anything that lessens anxiety I am all for. We have enough anxiety as it is.

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      1. I’m all for preparation and leaving everything in your hands in the elaborate design of your life. Our minds and bodies often interact with our environments and we may not comprehend the magnitude of other individuals ability. This is not an attack on our individual character, we often limit ourselves when making comparisons.

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    3. Another question…how are fear and anxiety overstated in our society? I am interested in clarification. In regards to the news and social media? If so oh heck yeah. Society WANTS us to be afraid of everything. As a person with PTSD and an anxiety disorder, society and its impact have nothing to do with what goes on in my mind. I don’t even watch the news or plug into what society wants me to be afraid of. I have enough going on in this head due to trauma that I don’t need the news to add it.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Let’s say we recognize the extent the mass media controls society. If you can rationalize this stated fact, In this instance, I truly believed we can formulate our own understanding of how to approach overcoming these anxieties independently of mind altering psychoactive drugs. Even if you disassociate yourself from the atrocities that take place, it doesn’t initiate growth or alleviate the problem.
        My point is that recognition is the beginning not a point to concede and accept all our faults. I believe we’re capable of overcoming these issues.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. I so relate to your post. I am always early. I used to have a 35 mile commute, one-way, when I lived in D.C. I would leave around 5, sit in my car for an hour or so in the parking lot (doing word puzzles to occupy the time), before starting work at 7:30. It made for a longer day, but I didn’t have a morning anxiety attack on the Capital Beltway. Now as far as on my way home, anxiety galore! I now have a job that’s usually within 5 miles of my home. I sub at various schools and pick the schools closest to me. I always arrive early to sit in my car for a spell resting assured I made it on time again.

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  3. I hate being late. It creates this awful gut dropping sensation of dread. It’s one of the things that can pull me into an OCD trap. I can check a clock obsessively to the point of making me late. I’m with you, the solution is getting every where early.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Yes – being late will give me an instant anxiety attack if I let myself think about it. I have to verbally tell myself things will be ok if I AM running late, asking myself what the worst thing that could happen will be – because normally I panic with NO reason at all. Most frustrating thing is that I KNOW that my panic is completely illogical. It is a trap, like many other traps in my mind, one I have to fight constantly.

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  4. When I was younger, I chronically overscheduled myself and was frequently late. Being late simply is disrespectful to others. Being early is much less stressful, and a little downtime between meetings isvaluable.is valuable

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  5. my favorite thing about your blog is that (although no two of us are supposed to be exactly alike) its a catalog of things about ME, because against all odds we appear to have nearly IDENTICAL cases.

    i dont really think we are exactly alike– i know for a fact there are things youve managed “perfectly” (not really perfectly, but close enough) that id “probably never” manage, and probably a few things i manage more easily than you do– but time after time (after time after time) you keep cataloging these things that i know first-hand so well. im NOT early to everything, but im so often early-early (half an hour or more) to things that youve convinced me it may not be a symptom– its probably a (common) way of coping for “us” though.

    nowhere (no book, no blog) have i ever met a person that knows me so well. it would be creepy, if i didnt find you so likeable. please, put it all in a book someday– i will eventually buy a copy for anyone i love.

    you can call it “one person with asd” and have an intro about how “if you know one person with asd, you know ONE PERSON with asd… but you probably know more.” because anyone that know me would find you instantly familiar. still hoping your 2017 is the best year ever so far. believe me– i know (some of) your struggles. cheers.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Thank you so much my dear friend! I feel a very deep connection with my readers many of you say you experience the same things so there are things that seem to be VERY common. I am researching what would be needed to do a book. Logistically I may not be able to do it for a few months but I think eventually it will happen – people keep asking me to so I know there is interest. That is still crazy to me – lol. Its funny people want to know about my life before a year ago that’s all it was – my life no blog just me. WILD!

      Liked by 1 person

  6. I was such a poor time manager; getting bored far too easily. This was especially true on Sundays when I had an appointment every evening and I couldn’t fill in the hours.

    Also, whenever I worked full time, the final hour of the eight just dragged along. Not good for a self-confessed clock-watcher.

    Liked by 2 people

  7. While I hear you expressing anxiety about this, I wish more people in our circle of influence had this problem. Whether meetings or social gatherings it’s almost a rule that we will be waiting 15-20 minutes before we can start because people are late.

    I saw your note about audiobooks. I always have extra Audible credits and I like to use them to bring little blessings to people. If there’s an audiobook you would like, let me know, I have two extra credits right now and I would be happy to gift you one.

    Liked by 2 people

  8. I am exactly the same I have been early to everything since I was a child. If I have an appointment I like to get there at least 10 minutes before the appointment time. I have a sister and mum who are late for everything if they have driven me somewhere and we’re late I get very anxious and my hands become sweaty and I get a dry mouth
    Thanks for sharing 🙂

    Liked by 3 people

  9. lol! Okay. My mom always told me to build in an extra 10 minutes in your schedule in case something goes wrong on your way to an appointment. But then I build in another 10 minutes on top of that, in case something goes wrong on the way to something going wrong! It’s even worse if I’m going somewhere for the first time. And I can’t break it. Tried. I put away my things too early and begin pacing. I clock watch. I go over the route six times in my head. I triple check my backpack for all I need. My brother’s timing is just the opposite: he runs the clock down to the last second. Going to a film with him is a little tortuous; he times it so we walk in during the trailers. I prefer getting to the cinema in time to head to the toilet (if needed), stand in line for concessions, and find my seat BEFORE any trailer comes on.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. It might be for different reasons but I’m always ALWAYS early for appointments, events and work. Every day I’m in early. There is little tolerance for lateness in my work, which I totally appreciate, but I’d rather get somewhere early and then have to sit and wait than leave later to then have to fight through traffic stressing about whether or not I’ll make it in time, spending the rest of the day trying to catch up with myself and then spending the next couple of days feeling guilty for having let people down… 😖

    Liked by 1 person

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