I’m Tired of People Talking For Me

My entire life people have been talking for me. As a child who could not express her emotions well – my mother often narrated how I was feeling and perceiving things (incorrectly) to the world.

She would make assumptions about the reasons I did the strange things I did and tell people these things as if they were facts – often times in front of me. Eventually I started to believe some of what my mother said about me even when it was not true.

Certain misunderstandings always bothered me, and many things were never worth correcting but now as an adult I am done letting other people speak for me.

I am done letting non-Autistic people tell me how I am feeling. I am done letting letting doctors pathologize me. I’m done letting other people explain my behavior.

This is me speaking for myself – a proud Autistic woman speaking with her voice through a keyboard, finally feeling understood for the first time in her life. These words don’t come easily from my mouth but here every intention is organized and clear.

After years of letting others talk for me, finally I am speaking up. I have so much to say that words pour out of me like water from a broken fish tank. The flood gates are open.

I’m tired of letting people talk for me – I’m perfectly capable of speaking for myself spreading Autism awareness (in my own way).

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27 thoughts on “I’m Tired of People Talking For Me”

  1. Yessss! Raising Autism awareness is more than just informing allistic people about our reality–it’s crucial for undiagnosed people to understand that they’re not alone. That’s never going to happen if all they have to go on is a bunch of misinterpreted symptoms.

    I love the honesty of this blog. You capture your experience so beautifully, and some days I wonder if you’re writing from inside my head. You’re doing amazing things here!

    Liked by 2 people

  2. I’m glad you’re speaking up. I find people making assumptions about me and/or attributing intentions, beliefs and characteristics that aren’t mine–and then acting on them. This as been everything from bewildering to infuriating. I often don’t know what to do in response as it seems everything I do is bound to be misunderstood….

    Liked by 2 people

  3. I love this. I am the mother of a twenty-one-year-old it was on the Spectrum. And I for one find it a relief when I see my son explaining himself. And there’s so many ways people can empower those who are on the Spectrum to speak for themselves even when they are kids although in all fairness difference people on the Spectrum have different levels of issues. But it must be a goal for all parents to let their kids speak for themselves as soon as possible as long as it’s humanly possible. And that humanly possible element people need to stop short-changing those with autism regarding that. Keep doing what you’re doing. I felt a lot of pride reading your words and I don’t even know you because I can visualize exactly what you’re saying as you’re saying it.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I am glad you are speaking up for yourself! I am guilty of doing some of the things you mentioned with both my sons. I didn’t realize it until they were older and could communicate and advocate for themselves. And now I learn from them.

    Liked by 2 people

  5. Anna, this post is about an extremely complex topic. NT people try to interpret everything you say, and they expect the same from everybody else; i.e., they expect everybody to try to interpret everything they say. I think you’re correct that the written word is less vulnerable to interpretation then the spoken word, but it’s still vulnerable. In other words, “true” communication with NT people is impossible.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Yes! Hard to do in real time. When I am going for an appointment, I type up salient points and print out pithy notes, often with pictures downloaded from pixteller or pixabay to further help the other person understand me. Fortunately, my family understands about my hearing and sensory overload. I don’t know how anyone could ever think someone plugging their ears and crying to be a symptom of bad behavior.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. I always wanted the whole world to know my story through my view. When I was nine years old I wanted to write an autobiography after hearing about famous people doing just that – back in 1988. Back then I was ‘destined for fame’. 🙂

    But now I am still at home, with so many ‘dreams’ that became nightmares. But I have no regrets about the way my life panned out. Too late reminiscing.

    Liked by 2 people

  8. You’ve said a mouthful, as they say, and you’ve said it well. You are commanding your respect, without demanding it- using your own voice. That alone is your freedom, individuality and refusal to let others define you, validate you, or speak for you. You have released the weight of people’s need for labels to define others and ourselves in relation to others, and are writing your own narrative.
    Most of us only wish to reach that level of freedom. Congratulations!

    Liked by 3 people

  9. You have taught me about your life experience. Some of what you live, I know from chronic fatigue/fibro, and I can identify easily. But much of what you explain is new to me. I can know only from someone like you taking the trouble to teach me. Thank you.

    Liked by 1 person

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