Category Archives: Random

Letter to My Younger Self

Dear Me, so bright eyed and bushy tailed.

Wild child, who can’t sit still, full of joy bouncing off the walls. Yes you are strange, but please don’t fear your uniqueness. Be you, don’t grow bitter.Stay strange and amazing.

You have so much potential. Yes, your mother is right you are smart. Stop believing when people tell you otherwise.

It’s okay that you don’t need people. That makes you independent NOT defective. You are not cold and robotic you are calm and logical. Yes you do things differently but some day this will be your strength.

The people who picked on you never made it far in life. It was them not you who had the problem. Bullies are insecure and often suffer on the inside, lashing out to make themselves feel bigger. Don’t be like them. Stay kind.

Silly girl, who talks to the animals and trees. Never stop. Don’t worry about what other people think of you. You are perfect just the way you are.

 

With deepest love,

-Me

Diagnostic Criteria for Neurotypical Spectrum Disorder

Are you or is someone you know hyper social? It could be Neurotypical Spectrum Disorder.Read below to find out more and follow #NTDiagnosis

Neurotypical Spectrum Disorder           999.00 (F97.0)

Diagnostic Criteria

A.      Persistent over-activity in social communication and social interaction across multiple contexts.

1.       Insistence on social-emotional reciprocity, ranging, for example, from constant social approach and early adaptation of back-and-forth conversation; to encourage sharing of interests, emotions, or affect; to a constant seeking to initiate or respond in social interactions.

2.       Over awareness of nonverbal communicative behaviors used for social interaction, ranging, for example, from integrated verbal and nonverbal communication; to eye contact and body language or overestimation in understanding and use of gestures.

3.       Early onset in developing, maintaining, and understanding relationships, ranging, for example, from ease adjusting behavior to suit various social contexts; may engage in sharing imaginative play, easily make friends without assistance. Also may show an over interest in peers.

Specify current severity:

Severity is based on social communication impairments and restricted repetitive patterns of behavior (see Table 2).

B.      Enjoys a wide range of interests, or activities, with a difficulty focusing on one task through completion, as manifested by at least two of the following, currently or by history (examples are illustrative, not exhaustive; see text):

1.       Lack of repetitive motor movements, use of objects, or speech (e.g., simple motor stereotypies, lining up toys or flipping objects, echolalia, idiosyncratic phrases).

2.       Insistence on variance and flexibility, dislike of routines, or ritualized patterns or verbal nonverbal behavior (e.g., no distress at small changes, ease with transitions, lose thinking patterns, aversion to rituals, need to take new route or eat different food every day).

3.       Highly flexible, fluid interests that are abnormal in intensity or focus (e.g, weak attachment to or preoccupation with others and socializing).

4.       Hyporeactivity to sensory input or lack of interests in sensory aspects of the environment (e.g., apparent indifference to pain/temperature, indifferent response to nature, specific sounds or textures, lack of interest in smelling or touching of objects, shows no visual fascination with lights or movement).

Specify current severity:

Severity is based excursiveness of of social communication and fluid, overly flexible patterns of behavior (see Table 2).

C.      Symptoms must be present in the early developmental period (but may not become fully manifest until demands exceed limited capacities, or may be masked by learned strategies in later life).

D.      Symptoms cause clinically significant impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of current functioning.

E.       These disturbances are not better explained by other disabilities or illnesses.

Note: Individuals with a well-established DSM-VIII diagnosis of Communitive disorder, Socialem’s disorder, or other hyper-social disorder not otherwise specified should be given the diagnosis of Neurotypical spectrum disorder.

 

 

How would an Aspie diagnose a “Neurotypical” person if the tables were turned. Just for fun. I hope this peace bring thoughts and a smile. It is not intended to be offensive in any way.

With Love,

“Anna”

I’m on Twitter!

I finally caved and signed up for Twitter.

I may not long into my account every day but if you follow me on Twitter you will get notifications and news about Autism and the Anonymously Autistic blog.

Let’s connect!

@AnonymouslyAnna

I Love to Hate You – Autism & Socks

Socks.

It is more of a Sensory Processing Disorder problem than an Autism problem, but maybe it’s an Autism problem because we don’t explain the discomfort to the people around us.

We don’t know you don’t feel the same way we do about socks. We think that our behavior should be self explanatory because socks just suck that much. I have very early memories regarding the unpleasantness of socks. They felt like fiberglass burning into my ankles and the seam was a large lizard wiggling around on my toes.

When I was a baby my mother liked to dress me in socks with lace trim. I hated lace more than anything. Thinking about those socks makes me itch. Nothing could ever make them feel right. Looking around me everyone had socks. I thought you all were crazy. Why on earth would anyone put up with this much pain?

My mother said it was to protect my shoes, because shoes are expensive. It was a logical enough explanation, but as I got older I remember rubbing my feet and ankles raw by pawing at my socks.

Wet socks and wet clothing have always been impossible for me. My mother once asked me to put on wet socks. I can’t remember very clearly what happened after she asked that question (perhaps I had a meltdown) but I feel like the situation ended with vomit.

As I got older I started picking my own socks at the store. Ankle socks with no seam in the toe were my favorite when I could find them on sale. I had expensive taste in socks. If I could not find socks without a seam, I prefer ankle socks with a seam on top but they have to be soft.

I tried wearing shoes without socks, most of the time I ended up with blisters on my tinder feet.My balance is not the best and I am a bit of a klutz. I imagine my feet take quite a beating when not protected by socks.

Flats were great until my feet began to sweat. Pools of sweat feel like oceans in my shoes – it is ALMOST as bad as wet socks.

I try to stock up when I find a type of sock that I like. If a company changes their socks it will take me a while to get used to them.

Nothing is more annoying than a sock problem. The distraction is so intense it becomes hard to think about anything else without stimming. Maybe that is why I went barefooted so much as a child. I loved the feel of warm dry grass and hot asphalt on my feet.

I don’t run around with my shoes off any more. Now that I’ve found socks that feel nice I prefer not to feel small things under my feet. (As an adult, at 125 lbs, your feet hurt more when stepping on objects than they did when you only were closer to 60lbs.)

Even now there are some sensory days that I just can’t handle socks. If that happens I don’t wear them. It’s that easy. It is not fair that I put myself through the torture.

Itchy socks take away my valuable spoons. I need those they are mine!

I’ve been wearing socks for over 30 years now. It has taken me a long time to go from hating socks to loving socks.

Baby steps, progress is progress no matter how long it takes.

Autism is Full of Misunderstandings

Autism is marked by impaired communication abilities so it would make since that Autistic people often feel confused and misunderstood.

I don’t pick up on subtle social cues and hints. If you don’t tell me something directly, I’ll miss it. If something is implied I might not catch it.

Your annoyed face may not be registered in my brain – so if I am ticking you off I probably won’t know until you blow up in my face. If that happens I am completely caught off guard and have no clue what I did wrong.

I sometimes process things on a delay. I think it’s because of the amount of information I am able to take in at one time. There is so much to process that my brain saves some information for later and I may not process it for seconds, minutes, or days. This makes for inefficient conversations.

I have alexithymia and inappropriate affect so my face may not always be appropriate for the situation or conversation. Sometimes I laugh when people give be bad news. Apparently you should NOT laugh when someone tells you their mother has just passed away.

People often misunderstand my intentions. When I am too quiet people think I am hiding things and when I talk too much I am “selfishly” dominating a conversation. I don’t mean to do either of these things though.

When I am quiet it is because I lack confidence. I am painfully aware that I have trouble with timing in conversations. Sometimes it is easier for me not to talk so people don’t think I am rude.

When I am relaxed and with friends I tend to talk too much and over everyone. All my observations are from my point of view because I can’t take other people’s perspectives easily which makes me sound self centered.

Conversations are like a chess game where I can’t remember the rules. People think I don’t care to talk or to listen but really I just don’t know when I should talk because unfortunately – Autism is full of misunderstandings.

 

10 Things NOT to Say When Someone Comes Out as Autistic

I mentioned in a previous blog post that coming out as Autistic can be just as hard or harder than coming out as gay or bisexual.

Coming out as Autistic is hard. So hard that most of the time I just stay anonymous. Below are 10 REAL comments that I have heard first hand when trying to “come out” as Autistic.

Maybe if Autistic people stop getting comments like the ones below more Autistic people would come out of the closet.

  1. You don’t look Autistic.
  2. Autism is just a result of bad parenting.
  3. You just need to learn to grow up.
  4. There is nothing wrong with you.
  5. If you tried harder you could over come your struggles.
  6. You just want attention.
  7. You are just delayed.
  8. Everyone has a little Autism.
  9. You must be high functioning.
  10. Autism is just a different way of thinking. Its not really a disability.

Autistic Confession – I Still Do Best With A Visual Schedule

I know it’s a bit stereotypical, but I learned to keep my schedule written out in front of me and always had a calendar / appointment book with my schedule and due dates handy.

When I was younger I was the dorky kid with a Casio electronic organizer and planner.

As an adult, these tools have evolved. Thanks to modern technology I am able to use Google Calendars and Outlook to stay organized. My mobile phone allows me to access these things easily from anywhere. Everyone has a phone these days so I hardly stand out because of this.

It is important that I use my calendar, and check it regularly otherwise I forget to do things and miss appointments. I need my calendar to be an efficient adult.

Asperger’s, Disappointment, Friendships & Shutdowns — The Bush Shack

Nicely put. Its always hard to quickly explain Autism to people. I always want to start with a full history on Autism through the ages and Hans Asperger. I need quicker ways to explain my struggles to people.

Some things that a neurotypical person can shrug off, can actually become debilitating for someone like myself with Asperger’s. If I’ve had my hopes up for something, I get really excited. I mentally prepare for the occasion, whatever it may be, which is a process in itself that can take some time! If that […]

via Asperger’s, Disappointment, Friendships & Shutdowns — The Bush Shack

Off the Spectrum – How Autistic Are you?

YOU ARE ASKING THE WRONG QUESTION!!!

I HATE talking to people who do not know me about my Autism (face to face). I get comments like, well you must be one of those Higher Functioning Autistic’s – since you have a house and a good job. Your life looks great. There is nothing wrong with you.

In general I am a pretty happy and positive person. I’ve worked hard to learn to love myself as I am and have made effort to eliminate all negativity and bad people from my life. I smile all the time, even if I am not feeling well or having a bad day.

Technically my smile is more of a grin or smirk – no teeth. If I force teeth it’slike that scene from the movie Terminator where Arnold Schwarzenegger tried to learn how to smile. I wish I was exaggerating. I can smile with teeth if I am genuinely happy about something,  but this is one thing that I can not fake.

What they don’t see is my suffering. They don’t know that sometimes I am panicking on the inside or going through sensory overload right in front of them. How could they?

Growing up undiagnosed, I learned to hide these things years ago. Nobody sees me freaking out, knows when I am having stomach issues, or my head is pounding from the florescent lighting of the office I work in two to three days a week.

I don’t complain. I smile, push forward pull up my big girl panties and do what I have to do to make sure that I am able to provide the best possible life for myself. I have a good job because I work hard.

My mother allowed me to start working at the age of twelve. I started out with simple jobs like folding towels. She told me to always stay busy, find something to do. If I am on the clock I need to find work to do. So I did.

I put my heart and soul into everything I do THAT is why I have a nice home and a good job NOT because I am a “high functioning” Autistic. Honestly, I am not a fan of these high and low functioning labels.

People say I am high functioning because I have well developed coping mechanisms which basically means I keep all my suffering to myself to make Neurotypical people feel comfortable. Because I can pass for “normal” blend in and be one of “them” I must be high functioning. How offensive.

Please do not ask an Autistic person (or parent) how Autistic they (or their child) are (is).

This would be the number one on a list of things not to say to an Autistic person.

Thank you!

I found the following website while networking with other Aspies online and was VERY pleased with the following info-graphic. Please see the full thing on the Living Amongst Humans blog.  I really enjoyed it.

Full info-graphic here.

asp spec

Autistic Confessions – Hiding in the Bathroom

Sometimes I hide in the bathroom when I need a break. It may be 5 to 30 minutes before I get my anxiety under control but the little breaks help a LOT. I like to read or write when hiding in the bathroom because engagement in one of my special interests helps me to relax.

I am writing this in the bathroom right now.

 

All to stay Anonymously Autistic.