Someone asked about how I was in school.
I was in special education when I was young (early elementary school) and had tutor a few years later. I was a b-c (sometimes d student) with poor social skills. However, I still feel I was “smart” just not smart AT school.
Things that bore me go in one ear and out the other while things that catch my attention and interest me I can learn every detail about. That’s just how I learn.
School wanted me to learn boring things that seemed completely irrelevant and I had a lot of trouble with that. My other problem at school is that we were expected to sit still for long periods of time without fidgeting. At home I had fidget toys all around me (pinwheels, kaleidoscopes, silly putty, and more). At school no toys were allowed
Teachers saw me as a problem, something they did not want to deal with. They wanted to send me away or pass me along. I even had one teacher tell me I “should have failed her class but she passed me just so she would not have to see me again next year.”
I started school young, excited, and ready to learn. I’ve always had a passion for learning but school almost beat that out of me. By the time I left school I didn’t even know who I was anymore.
School didn’t want me and college was never a real option for me. I was dismissed over and over again by people who should have motivated me.
Every day I am grateful that I am self motivated. When I want something I push myself for it. I know not everyone has this skill – I wish I could share it with anyone who needs it.
Growing up in my own little bubble, the world in my head is magical and bold. My whole life it has felt as if people are constantly trying to pull me out of that bubble – but the bubble is where I want to be. I am the bubble and the bubble is me.
School wanted me to be a cube but all my edges were rounded. Why could I not just be myself?
#ActuallyAutistic #SheCantBeAutistic #AutismAwarenes #AutismAcceptance