I hate spoken directions.
Not because I don’t care, or because I’m not listening, but because spoken instructions dissolve in my mind like water through a sieve. By the time you’ve reached the third step, I’ve already lost the first two.
It’s not about intelligence or attention span. It’s about how my brain works—or, in this case, doesn’t work—when faced with auditory processing demands.
What Happens in My Brain
Here’s how spoken instructions feel to me:
Imagine someone handing you a stack of playing cards, one at a time. The first card goes into your hand smoothly, then the second. But before you can settle the third, the first two slip to the floor. By the time the stack reaches five or six, the cards are scattered everywhere, and you’re left standing there, overwhelmed and empty-handed.
That’s my brain on spoken instructions.
A Story About Failing to Follow Directions
A few months ago, my manager called me into her office. “I need you to do a quick favor,” she said, smiling. “Here’s what I need—grab the file from Jane, double-check the numbers on page three, update the totals in the spreadsheet, and email it back to her.”
By the time she finished speaking, I was stuck on step one: Grab the file from Jane. I nodded anyway, not wanting to admit I was already lost.
Back at my desk, I stared blankly at my computer. Should I ask her to repeat herself? Would she think I wasn’t paying attention? I spent the next 20 minutes piecing together fragments of her instructions before finally emailing her: “Can you clarify what you need?”
It was humiliating, but I had no other choice.
Why This Happens
- Auditory Processing Delays: My brain processes spoken words more slowly than most. By the time I’ve understood one sentence, the next one has already flown by.
- Working Memory Challenges: Spoken directions rely heavily on working memory—the ability to hold and manipulate information in real-time. For me, that memory is a short-circuit waiting to happen.
- Literal Thinking: Instructions that are vague or indirect leave me spinning in circles, trying to decode what they really mean.
What I Need Instead
Over time, I’ve learned to advocate for myself and ask for accommodations that make following directions easier. Here’s what works for me:
- Written Instructions: Whether it’s an email, a sticky note, or a shared document, written instructions give me something concrete to refer back to.
- Breaking It Down: When spoken instructions are unavoidable, I ask for them one step at a time. “Can you walk me through this as I go?” works wonders.
- Clarifying Questions: Instead of pretending I understand, I now say, “Can I repeat this back to make sure I got it right?”
How You Can Help
If you’re working with someone who struggles to follow spoken directions, here are a few tips:
- Write It Down. Even a quick bullet-point list can make a big difference.
- Check for Understanding. Ask, “Does this make sense?” or “Do you need me to explain anything again?”
- Be Patient. Don’t assume they’re not listening; their brain just processes differently.
Visual Snapshot
Right now, I’m sitting in my living room, surrounded by little reminders of how I organize my life. My planner is open on the coffee table, filled with color-coded tasks and sticky notes. On the wall, a whiteboard lists today’s to-dos in big, bold letters.
The room is quiet, save for the soft ticking of a clock and the hum of my laptop. I’m sipping a cup of chamomile tea, feeling calm and grounded in a space that works with my brain—not against it.
FAQ
Q: Why can’t you just ask people to repeat themselves?
A: I do, but it’s not always easy. Asking for repetition can feel embarrassing, especially when it happens often. Written instructions save everyone time.
Q: Does this mean you can’t follow directions at all?
A: Not at all. I’m great at following clear, step-by-step instructions—especially when they’re written down.
Q: How can I support someone with auditory processing challenges?
A: Offer written instructions, speak slowly, and check in to make sure they understand. The Autistic Self Advocacy Network has great resources on neurodivergent communication.
Final Thoughts
Struggling with spoken directions doesn’t make me lazy or inattentive. It’s just one of the many ways my brain processes the world differently.
If you relate to this, know you’re not alone—and it’s okay to ask for what you need. Whether it’s written instructions, extra time, or a little patience, you deserve support that works for you.
And if you need me, I’ll be here—writing everything down, one step at a time.
