Asperger’s Intimidating Face? | You Are Not Alone – YANA: Aspie Vlog

I spend a great deal of my energy making sure my face looks happy when I am around “normal people”. My resting face looks cold and uninviting.

Before I started faking it people used to always ask if I was “alright” or “had a problem”. It took me a while to figure out that it was my face throwing people off. Eventually I made a social rule for myself – “Smile when people look at you.”

I don’t smile for myself, I smile to make others feel more comfortable so people do not have the urge to comfort me becase I never want to be comforted. I am very good at comforting myself when something is wrong.

All these little social things. So many thing to concentration on. Neurotypical people do all of these social things consciously but for me I have to make effort just to appear human because my version of human does not match society’s expectations.

People know me for being warm, happy, and positive. Maybe it is because I make so much effort to be that way in order to blend in and catch less criticism from my “normal” coworkers and peers.

My social receivers and senders are broken and do not function on their own. I don’t send or take in any non-verbal signals without great effort and concentration. No wonder Aspies suffer from social fatigue and burnout. Being social is a LOT of work.

YANA: Aspie Vlog has a great video talking about her experience with wondering about what Neurotypicals think of her characteristic “blank” Aspie face. I can take no credit for this great video. Please subscribe to the YANA: Aspie Vlog channel on YouTube for more great content.

Aspie Sean Week 47: “Don’t tell us we’re high functioning like it’s a compliment”

First off – do not tell me that I am high functioning or low functioning. Ever. The truth is my functioning level varies from day to day. Someday just getting out of bed is an accomplishment and other days I am out and about concurring the corporate world.

Functioning labels are not helpful for anyone and they suggest that Autistic people who cannot pass off as Neurotypical are somehow less – despite many non-verbal Aspies (like Carly Fleischmann) being very intelligent despite difficulties controlling their bodies and communication impairments like Apraxia and Alexithymia.

It makes me SO mad because I know how it feels to be underestimated, for people to think you are stupid when you don’t express yourself the way they expect you to. The voice that comes out of my mouth never measures up to my inner voice or the voice that comes out when I type.

I really think high functioning means you hide your AS traits well… which is actually what someone told me once “you hide it well” like THAT is a compliment. “You hide who you really are very well so that the rest of us can feel comfortable” is what I hear when somebody says that.

It’s offensive and needs to stop.

Aspie Sean – a man with great perspective and who is very talented in speaking out loud agrees that saying “You must be high functioning” is NOT a compliment.

I can take no credit for the video. Please subscribe to Aspie Sean for more great content.

Aspie Sean 58: Accomidation and What It Means

Asking for accommodation can be difficult. As I get older and learn more about myself,  I am getting better at self avocation and asking for accommodations.

I want to make something clear. When an Autistic person is asking you for accommodations they are NOT looking for special treatment they just want to be comfortable.

Certain things I can tolerate if I have to, like florescent light bulbs and air conditioners but they make me physically sick and uncomfortable. Almost like an allergy.

If I ask to work alone in a quiet office with natural light people scoff because EVERYONE wants a quiet office with natural light but when I don’t have this I am truly suffering and in pain or feeling horrible.

I need to alone time and quiet more than anything. I wouldn’t ask if it weren’t important.

I love Aspie Sean‘s videos! Below he talks about what asking for accommodation means.

I can not express myself as well out loud as I can when I type but YouTuber Aspie Sean is amazing. I can take NO credit for this content please subscribe to Aspie Sean on YouTube for more great content.

 

False Stereotypes | The Asperger Help Desk

Stereotypes and Stigmas are one of my biggest obsticals. People expect me to fit into society because they do not know I am Autistic but if I tell someone that I am Autistic they say “you are so smart, you can’t possible be Autistic”.

If you’ve met one person with Autism you have met one person with Autism. The same thing can be said for non-Autistic people. If you’ve met one “normal person” you’ve met one “normal person”.

Why would anyone think that everyone in a group is exactly the same? That is completely illogical.

 

#actuallyAutistic #SheCantBeAutistic

Asperger’s Girl- Stress, How to Manage it & Sensory Toys

Autistic people are marked by their adherence to routine and resistance to change. We find comfort in familiarity.

I like to have a plan and know what is going on also I always try to have stim toys handy.

One of my favorite YouTubers – Anja Melissa has a new video talking about how she manages stress and will deal with transitioning to a new part of her life.

You’re not autistic. — bipolarunspecified.com

 

Why do people say that? I hearit all the time. Angry parents can be nasty when I say I’m Autistic. How can I say such a thing while living on my own, talking, and holding a job?

I am an invisible Autistic. We are everywhere, many of us suffer silently because people always accuse us of lying if we try to come out.

It’s impossible for me to speak to someone who thinks that I am lying. I shut down and my words evaporate, making a fool of myself.

Unable to explain or ask for help some of us stop trying. We are “too high functioning” for our opinions to matter but not “functioning” well enough to lead normal lives.

 

She said, “You have Asperger’s; you’re not autistic”.

News flash: Asperger’s is a form of autism. It’s on the spectrum.

But what she probably meant is what a lot of autism moms would mean if they said something like, “You’re not like mychild.”

So, I was autistic on the phone with my family member, I have been all of my life, and I will remain autistic until the day I die.

I find it unfortunate that these stereotypes still exist. I’m supposed to look or behave in a certain way, otherwise there’s no way I could be autistic. I wish more people would pick up a book or listen to actual autistics and not just remember the movie Rain Man.

Please check out the full post below.

via You’re not autistic. — bipolarunspecified.com

Autistic People Pretending to be Normal – Anonymously Autistic

There is something that is known among adults in the online Autism communities – society expects Autistic people to blend in. We live in a world where being different is not always welcomed.

People don’t understand Autism and naturally fear what they do not understand. I can not blame or grudge these people. They are acting on instinct by excluding what is not the same.

Many introverts can relate to this struggle as society tends to dote on extroverted and social people.

If you read definitions of the words introvert online and in books you will find the qualities described in a negative and often pathological way most of the time. “Reclusive, self-centered, loner.”

The definitions of the word extrovert are almost always more positive.  “Social butterfly, energetic, group-minded.”

What is an introverted, socially awkward Aspie to do?

Passing – an Autistic person who is trying to blend in and pass off as neurotypical.

Many Autistic adults, especially those who are not diagnosed until later in life, have grown up with a sense of shame for their “autistic-ness”. Early on we learn that kids will be mean and tease us if we flap our hands or act too strange.

Fear of bullies is often the first thing that causes us to turn inward. Autistic children are often bullied, mental and physical abuse from our peers is common and due to our language and communication difficulties we often do not tell adults.

We may not really understand what is being done to us and feel as if our peers are unpredictable, irrational, and dangerous.

We learn to blend in – blend in or be beat down. Our vicious peers teach us that our quirks will not be tolerated. Teachers tell us “quiet hands, sit still, you cannot wear sunglasses, or hats in the classroom”.

As children many of us are sick or uncomfortable but learn to suffer in silence.

It is hard for us to explain the unpleasant sensations in our bodies. My eyes burned from light so I told my mother I had a head ache. I took a lot of baby aspirin for no reason when I was little.

Once I remember telling a school nurse that I feel like I will throw up in the next hour if I don’t go home. She looked at me like I was crazy and told me that it was impossible for me to know that. She made me go back to class where I later threw up.

She did not understand that I was trying to tell her that I was getting close to the point of sensory overload and when I get to that overload I start throwing up. I was undiagnosed.

To her I was a child trying to get out of class. This happened to me several times a week and the school nurse insisted to my mother that I was somehow making myself sick to miss school.

People told me and my family that I was lying or making things up. Nobody understood, believed, or wanted to help me. I was dismissed.

Speaking up was not helpful and sometimes when I did people looked at me like I was crazy, so eventually I stopped.

With no other options I began to pretend to be normal but blending in has it’s dangers. If people spend enough time with me, they figure out that I am “unique”. In professional settings it takes all of my concentration to hold my “autistic-ness” in.

The offensive “compliment” – “You hide your Autism well” has been given to me in the past and ever since I have been greatly disturbed.

Why should I have to hide my Autism? Is it something that I should be ashamed of? I love who I am and would never want to change that even if I could. Hiding… in the closet as if there is something wrong with the way I was born.

Passing is not even good for your mental health. It teaches us to have shame in who we are. It gives a message that we are not good enough.

Passing takes up so much of an Autistic person’s limited social energy that we go home and have sensory meltdowns the minute we can be alone. When I was a child – and even now with work – I could hold things together through the school day but would come home and fall apart.

If an Autistic person is focusing on passing they are tense, working brain muscles that are not very strong, and are not relaxed. Imagine if you were tense and wound up for 8 to 10 hours straight. How would you feel when you got home?

Eventually this can lead to a total implosion, breakdown, or possibly – when we are having extreme difficulties keeping up with everyone’s expectations of us – a diagnosis.

I have to write everything down because my working memory is not great – but my long term memory is forever. I need to be alone. I need to stim. I need to wear hats and sunglasses indoors.

I need to avoid bright lights like Gizmo from Gremlins (and sometimes may exclaim “Bright lights!” in a Gizmo voice the instant a bright light stings my eyes and brain).

Even my humor is not understood or appreciated by most people. Not wanting to be thought of as a “childish” I often keep my fun comments to myself so people never get to know the real fun and silly me.

The modern social world is not built for us – but we are expected to fit into it like a puzzle piece. I am not a puzzle. I am a human, an Aspie. I’m not like you and shouldn’t have to be.

Trying to fake it is detrimental to my health and I can’t do it anymore.

#anonymouslyautistic #shecantbeautistic #actuallyautistic

#ActuallyAutistic

A poem inspired by the #ActuallyAutistic and #SheCantBeAutistic hashtags that I keep seeing all over the place this week.

#ActuallyAutistic

You are a bit awkward aren’t you?

Actually, I am Autistic.

Autistic? You seem normal to me.

You can’t see Autism.

But you seem so intelligent.

Lots of Autistic people are smart.

You just need to practice socializing more.

I am already doing my best.

Autistic people can’t sit still.

We can, but it is hard and takes more concentration.

You must be high functioning.

Today I am, but sometimes I’m not.

Are you just looking for attention?

No, actually I prefer to be left alone.

You don’t look Autistic.

Actually I’m Autistic.

People With Autism Describe Why Eye Contact Can Be Difficult – The Mighty

Why don’t Autistic people like eye contact? Why is eye contact hard for Autistic people?

I can pretend to make eye contact for a moment by looking at someone’s nose but I have to take breaks from the eye contact. Sometimes I need to fake eye contact but I do not think forcing an Autistic person to make Autistic is healthy for the Autistic person.

I only like to make eye contact in close intimate situations and don’t do so or even fake it unless I have to – normally at work.

The Mighty Site is one of my favorites. Please subscribe to their YouTube channel for more great videos. I can take NO credit for this video.

Reb Records – How I Hide My Autism

Reb Records – a beautiful, brilliant, young woman on the Autism spectrum talks about how she blends in as an Autistic woman on the spectrum.

I can relate SO much to what she says about avoiding IKEA, the mall, and Walmart because of the sensory overload.

“Passing” is something that is extremely common among Autistic women. Our disabilities are invisible and we hide them. We manage to get through our day and than crash and burn when we get home and are finally alone. I do this too.

So much of what she says could actually  be my own words – although I can take NO credit for her video.

Please check out Reb Records‘s channel on YouTube and subscribe for more great content.

#SheCantBeAutistic #actuallyAutistic #AnonymouslyAutistic

#ActuallyAutistic – This site is intend to inspire through sharing stories & experiences. The opinions of the writers are there own. If you have a medical question talk to your doctor. Thank you.