I dread spoken instructions.
There’s a moment when someone starts explaining a task—a rapid-fire list of steps—and I feel my brain lock up. The words blur together, my focus fractures, and before I know it, I’m standing there nodding while internally panicking.
It’s not because I’m lazy, careless, or inattentive. It’s because my brain processes spoken language like trying to read a novel in a noisy room—it’s technically possible, but exhausting and prone to errors.
What Happens When I Hear Verbal Directions
Imagine you’re trying to memorize a phone number, and someone starts reading it aloud—quickly. You’re repeating the first digits in your head, trying to hold onto them, but the speaker keeps going, piling on more numbers until your mental space collapses under the weight.
That’s what it feels like when someone gives me spoken directions. My brain is great at focusing on one thing at a time, but it struggles to juggle multiple pieces of information in real-time. By the time step three is explained, I’ve already lost steps one and two.
A Story About Failing to Follow Directions
Last week, my manager asked me to prepare a report. He rattled off the steps quickly: “Pull the data from this system, filter it by these criteria, and format it like this before sending it to finance.”
I froze. My brain latched onto “pull the data” and started building a mental image of what that might look like. By the time I realized he was still talking, I’d missed half the instructions.
I tried to recover, scribbling notes and nodding like I understood. But an hour later, staring at my computer, I realized I had no idea what to do. I ended up emailing him: “Can you clarify what you need?”
It was embarrassing, but necessary. I’ve learned the hard way that pretending to understand only makes things worse.
Why It Happens
- Auditory Processing Challenges: My brain processes spoken words slower than most people’s. By the time I’ve made sense of one phrase, the next one has already flown past.
- Working Memory Limits: Spoken directions rely heavily on working memory—the ability to hold information temporarily while using it. My working memory is like a leaky bucket; it can only hold so much before things start slipping out.
- Literal Thinking: If instructions are vague or metaphorical, I get stuck trying to decode what they mean.
What Helps Me Follow Directions
Over the years, I’ve developed strategies to navigate this challenge:
- Ask for Written Instructions. Whenever possible, I ask people to email or write down the steps. Written directions give me time to process and refer back to them as needed.
- Take Notes. If I can’t get written instructions, I’ll jot down notes while the person is talking. It’s not perfect, but it helps.
- Repeat Back What I Heard. Saying, “So you want me to do X, Y, and Z, right?” not only confirms my understanding but also gives me a chance to catch anything I missed.
- Break It Down. I tackle tasks one step at a time, focusing on completing each part before moving to the next.
How You Can Help
If you’re giving directions to someone who might struggle with verbal instructions, here are some tips:
- Slow Down. Speak clearly and pause between steps.
- Use Visual Aids. Diagrams, screenshots, or written lists can make a huge difference.
- Be Patient. Don’t rush or get frustrated if they ask for clarification.
- Check for Understanding. Ask, “Does this make sense?” or “Do you need me to repeat anything?”
Visual Snapshot
Right now, I’m sitting at my desk, staring at a to-do list that’s already a little too long for comfort. A bright yellow sticky note on my computer reads: “Breathe. Break it down. One step at a time.”
The window is open, letting in the faint hum of traffic and the scent of freshly cut grass. My favorite pen—a sleek black fountain pen with blue ink—rests on the desk, ready to jot down anything else I might need to remember.
It’s a small, manageable moment in a world that often feels too fast.
FAQ
Q: Why can’t you just remember verbal instructions?
A: It’s not about memory—it’s about how my brain processes information. Spoken words are fleeting, and I need more time to decode and retain them.
Q: Does this mean you’re bad at following directions?
A: Not at all. I’m great at following clear, written instructions. Verbal directions just require extra effort and accommodation.
Q: How can I support someone with auditory processing challenges?
A: Offer written instructions, be patient, and check in to ensure they understand. The Autistic Self Advocacy Network has more tips on accommodating neurodivergent individuals.
Final Thoughts
Not being able to follow spoken directions isn’t a failure—it’s a difference. And like any difference, it comes with its own set of challenges and solutions.
If you struggle with this too, know that you’re not alone, and it’s okay to ask for accommodations. We all deserve the tools we need to succeed.
And if you need me, I’ll be here—writing everything down, one sticky note at a time.
