Stigma has a way of sneaking into the smallest moments.
Like the time someone said, “You’re not autistic—you’re just quirky!”
Or when a coworker laughed and added, “Oh, we’re all a little autistic, aren’t we?”
These comments might seem harmless, even well-meaning, but they’re not. They erase the challenges I face and the effort I put into simply existing in a world that wasn’t designed for me.
So, I fight back—but not with anger or arguments. I fight with conversations, one awkward moment at a time.
What Autism Stigma Looks Like
- Stereotypes:
- “You can’t be autistic; you don’t look it.”
- “All autistic people are savants, right?”
- Dismissal:
- “Everyone struggles with socializing sometimes.”
- “You’re just making excuses for being shy.”
- Pity:
- “That must be so hard for you.”
- “I feel so sorry for people like you.”
The Hardest Conversation I’ve Had
A few years ago, I was at a family gathering when an older relative asked, “Are you sure you’re autistic? You seem normal to me.”
I froze. Part of me wanted to let it slide, but I knew this was a chance to educate. So, I took a deep breath and said:
“Autism doesn’t always look the way you think it does. For me, it’s things like sensory overload, struggling with social cues, and masking to fit in.”
They nodded, but I could tell they didn’t fully get it. And that’s okay. Planting a seed of understanding is sometimes the best you can do.
Why Fighting Stigma Matters
- Representation: The more people understand autism, the more they’ll accept that it looks different for everyone.
- Access: Breaking down stigma makes it easier for autistic people to access accommodations and support.
- Connection: Honest conversations help bridge the gap between neurotypical and autistic experiences.
How I Approach Awkward Conversations
- Stay Calm: Even when comments sting, I remind myself that most people aren’t trying to be hurtful.
- Use Analogies: Comparing autism to something relatable—like wearing noise-canceling headphones in a loud room—helps people understand.
- Set Boundaries: If someone’s being dismissive or combative, I politely end the conversation. My energy isn’t infinite.
What I Wish People Knew
- Autism Isn’t a Tragedy: I don’t need pity or sorrow. I need understanding and respect.
- You Don’t Have to “Fix” Me: Autism isn’t a problem to solve—it’s a part of who I am.
- Questions Are Okay: I’d rather someone ask a respectful question than make an assumption.
Quotes That Inspire Me
- “Prejudice is a burden that confuses the past, threatens the future, and renders the present inaccessible.” —Maya Angelou
- “It is not our differences that divide us. It is our inability to recognize, accept, and celebrate those differences.” —Audre Lorde
These remind me why I keep having these conversations, even when they’re uncomfortable.
A Vision of Hope
I imagine a world where autism is understood as just one of the many ways to be human. A world where I don’t have to justify my quirks or mask my struggles. A world where awkward conversations about autism aren’t necessary—because acceptance is the norm.
Visual Snapshot
I’m sitting at a café with a friend, a half-finished latte in front of me. The sunlight filters through the window, casting soft shadows on the table. My friend has just asked, “What’s it really like to be autistic?”
I smile, grateful for the question, and begin to explain.
FAQ
Q: How do you respond to offensive comments about autism?
A: I try to approach them as teachable moments. If the person isn’t open to learning, I walk away—it’s not my job to change everyone’s mind.
Q: Why do people still have outdated ideas about autism?
A: Misrepresentation in media and a lack of education are major contributors. Conversations like these can help change that.
Q: How can I help fight autism stigma?
A: Educate yourself, amplify autistic voices, and call out misinformation when you see it.
Final Thoughts
Fighting autism stigma isn’t glamorous. It’s awkward, messy, and often frustrating. But it’s worth it. Every conversation, no matter how small, chips away at ignorance and builds a foundation of understanding.
If you’re fighting this battle too, know that you’re not alone. Together, we can create a world where autism isn’t a punchline or a mystery—it’s just another way to be human.
And if you need me, you’ll find me here—tackling the next awkward conversation, one deep breath at a time.
