I’ve been to a lot of networking events, and let me tell you—they’re not for the faint of heart.
Picture this: a packed room full of strangers, everyone talking over each other, the buzz of voices mixing with the clinking of glasses and the hum of background music. Add bright overhead lighting, the scent of too many perfumes, and the pressure to be on—smiling, chatting, shaking hands—and you’ve got a recipe for instant sensory overload.
For someone like me, it’s not just exhausting; it’s warfare.
What Networking Events Feel Like for Me
- The Noise: A constant roar of conversation, laughter, and music that makes it impossible to focus on what anyone is saying.
- The Crowds: Too many people in too small a space, jostling and bumping and invading my personal bubble.
- The Small Talk: Endless, meaningless pleasantries that leave me wondering if I said the “right” thing.
It’s like being dropped into a sensory minefield with no map and no escape route.
A Memory of Networking Gone Wrong
I once attended a networking event at a trendy downtown bar. The music was loud, the lighting was dim, and the room was packed.
Within ten minutes, my head was pounding, my heart was racing, and I was gripping my drink so tightly I thought the glass might shatter.
When someone asked me what I did for a living, I froze. My brain went blank, and I stammered out something incoherent before excusing myself to the bathroom, where I spent the next fifteen minutes trying to breathe.
By the end of the night, I was so overstimulated and drained that I skipped dinner and went straight to bed.
Why Networking Is So Hard for Autistic People
- Sensory Overload: The noise, lights, and crowds are overwhelming and make it hard to focus.
- Social Scripts: Navigating small talk and professional conversation requires masking, which is mentally exhausting.
- Unpredictability: Not knowing who you’ll meet or what they’ll say can trigger anxiety.
How I Survive Networking Events
- Arrive Early: Fewer people and less noise make the environment more manageable.
- Set Boundaries: I give myself permission to leave after a set amount of time, even if it’s just 30 minutes.
- Bring a “Safe” Item: Whether it’s a fidget toy in my pocket or a familiar bracelet, having a grounding object helps.
- Focus on One Person at a Time: Instead of trying to work the room, I aim for a meaningful conversation with one or two people.
- Take Breaks: I step outside or find a quiet corner when the noise and crowds become too much.
What I Wish Networking Events Were Like
Imagine a networking event with:
- Quiet spaces where you can decompress.
- No loud music or flashing lights.
- Clear schedules so you know what to expect.
- Opportunities for smaller, one-on-one conversations instead of chaotic mingling.
It sounds like a dream, doesn’t it?
Quotes That Resonate
- “Networking is not about just connecting people. It’s about connecting people with people, people with ideas, and people with opportunities.” —Michele Jennae
- “The quieter you become, the more you can hear.” —Ram Dass
For me, quiet isn’t just a preference—it’s how I connect meaningfully with others.
A Cultural Note on Networking
In Western culture, networking is often framed as a “must” for success. But for autistic people, the traditional model can feel exclusionary and inaccessible.
Autistic-friendly networking spaces—like virtual events or sensory-friendly meetups—are starting to emerge, offering a more inclusive alternative.
Visual Snapshot
I’m sitting in my car outside a networking event, gripping the steering wheel and taking deep breaths. My noise-canceling headphones are around my neck, ready to deploy. Inside the venue, the hum of conversation spills out into the night, a reminder of the sensory challenges ahead.
I take one last sip of water, square my shoulders, and step out of the car, whispering to myself, “You’ve got this.”
FAQ
Q: Why do autistic people struggle with networking?
A: The combination of sensory overload, social anxiety, and the pressure to mask makes traditional networking events challenging.
Q: Are there alternatives to traditional networking?
A: Yes! Virtual events, smaller meetups, and interest-based communities can offer more accessible ways to connect.
Q: How can event organizers make networking more inclusive?
A: Provide quiet spaces, minimize sensory triggers, and offer structured activities to help people engage more comfortably.
Final Thoughts
Networking events might be overwhelming, but they’re not impossible. With the right strategies—and a lot of self-compassion—I’ve learned to navigate them in a way that works for me.
If you’re an autistic person facing the same challenges, know this: you’re not alone, and it’s okay to do networking your way.
And if you need me, you’ll find me in the quietest corner of the room, sipping a drink and building connections—one meaningful conversation at a time.
