Let’s get this out of the way: meetings drain me.
It’s not the work itself—brainstorming ideas, collaborating on projects, solving problems. That part I can handle. It’s everything else: the endless talking, the subtle social cues, the unspoken expectations. By the time I leave a meeting, I feel like I’ve run a mental marathon, and my brain is begging for a break.
Spoiler alert: this is why I need a nap.
Why Meetings Are So Exhausting
- Sensory Overload:
- The sound of multiple people talking at once, fluorescent lights glaring overhead, and the hum of the projector or laptop fan—it all feels like static in my brain.
- Social Expectations:
- Meetings are full of unwritten rules: when to speak, when to stay quiet, how to phrase your thoughts so they land just right.
- Processing Delays:
- By the time I’ve fully processed one point, the conversation has already moved on to the next. It’s like trying to watch a movie on a lagging internet connection.
- Masking:
- Smiling, nodding, maintaining eye contact—it’s all an act, and it takes energy.
A Meeting Memory
A few months ago, I had back-to-back meetings scheduled from 9 a.m. to 1 p.m. By the time we hit noon, I could barely concentrate. The words my coworkers were saying seemed to blur together, and I found myself zoning out despite my best efforts.
After the last meeting ended, I collapsed onto the couch in the break room, closed my eyes, and stayed there for 20 minutes. Someone walked in and jokingly asked if I was okay. I laughed it off, but in reality, I was completely wiped.
The Spoon Theory at Work
If you’re not familiar with The Spoon Theory, it’s a metaphor for energy management, often used by people with chronic illnesses or disabilities. Imagine you start the day with a set number of spoons. Every task costs you one or more spoons.
Meetings? They’re a multi-spoon activity.
Here’s how a typical meeting breaks down for me:
- Preparing for the Meeting: 1 spoon
- Sitting Through the Meeting: 3 spoons
- Contributing to the Discussion: 2 spoons
- Masking and Managing Sensory Input: 3 spoons
By the end of one meeting, I’ve often used up half my spoons for the day.
How I Cope With Meeting Fatigue
- Take Notes:
- Writing things down helps me stay focused and gives me something to review later in case I miss anything.
- Schedule Recovery Time:
- I block out time after meetings to decompress, whether that means sitting quietly, stimming, or even taking a short nap.
- Set Boundaries:
- If a meeting isn’t essential, I’ll ask if I can skip it or attend virtually.
- Use Tools:
- Noise-canceling headphones and tinted glasses help me manage the sensory onslaught.
What I Wish People Knew About Meeting Fatigue
- It’s Not Laziness:
- Needing a break after a meeting doesn’t mean I’m not dedicated to my work. It means I’m managing my energy to be as productive as possible.
- It’s Not Just About the Meeting:
- The preparation, the social dynamics, and the recovery all take a toll.
- Small Adjustments Help:
- Shorter meetings, clear agendas, and fewer interruptions make a huge difference for neurodivergent people.
A Cultural Comparison
In Quiet, Susan Cain describes how introverts often feel drained by overstimulation in group settings. While her focus is on personality, her insights resonate deeply with me as an autistic person. The constant social and sensory demands of meetings create a similar kind of fatigue—one that requires careful recovery.
FAQ
Q: Do you ever enjoy meetings?
A: Sometimes, especially if the group is small and the discussion is structured. But I still need downtime afterward.
Q: How do you explain your need for recovery time to coworkers?
A: I keep it simple: “I need a little time to recharge so I can stay focused on the work.” Most people are understanding when you frame it that way.
Q: What’s your ideal meeting setup?
A: A clear agenda, a quiet room, and the option to attend virtually so I can manage my environment.
Final Thoughts
Meetings don’t have to be the energy vampires they often are. By setting boundaries, advocating for accommodations, and scheduling recovery time, it’s possible to make them a little less draining.
If you’re someone who struggles with meeting fatigue, know this: it’s okay to take care of yourself. Your energy is a resource, and you have every right to protect it.
And if you need me, you’ll find me here—napping on the couch, recharging for whatever comes next.
