The first time someone told me I had a “dream job,” I laughed. Not because they were wrong—the job was exciting, high-profile, and full of perks—but because they had no idea what it cost me.
Let me paint a picture: I work in a fast-paced, people-focused industry. My days are filled with meetings, brainstorming sessions, networking events, and deadlines that could make even the most organized person break a sweat. To everyone else, it looks glamorous. To me, it feels like a slow-motion crash I can’t stop.
The Myth of the Dream Job
There’s this idea that once you land your dream job, everything falls into place. But what people don’t tell you is that the dream job doesn’t account for who you are—it assumes you can bend yourself into the shape it requires.
For me, that meant:
- Suppressing my sensory needs: Open-plan offices are a nightmare for anyone who struggles with noise and visual clutter.
- Masking constantly: Pretending I was fine, even when the chaos of the day left me feeling like I was unraveling.
- Ignoring my burnout: Because who complains about the dream job?
A Memory of Burnout
It was the morning of a big presentation. I’d stayed up half the night rehearsing my lines, redoing slides, and convincing myself I could pull it off.
When I walked into the conference room, the fluorescent lights hit me like a slap. The room was packed with people, and the noise was overwhelming. I made it through the first few slides, but by the time I reached the Q&A session, my brain had completely shut down.
I don’t remember what I said in response to the questions, but I know it wasn’t coherent. My manager pulled me aside afterward and asked if I was okay. I nodded, smiled, and went back to my desk. Then I locked myself in the bathroom and cried.
Why the Dream Job Is Exhausting for Autistic People
- The Social Pressure:
- Networking events, team-building exercises, and office small talk are draining.
- The Sensory Overload:
- Bright lights, constant noise, and endless stimuli make it hard to focus and impossible to recharge.
- The Expectations:
- Dream jobs often come with the unspoken rule that you should always be grateful, even when you’re struggling.
How I’m Learning to Survive
- Setting Boundaries:
- I’ve learned to say no to after-hours events and weekend emails. My well-being matters more than my inbox.
- Advocating for Accommodations:
- Noise-canceling headphones and a flexible schedule have been lifesavers.
- Redefining Success:
- I’ve let go of the idea that success means climbing the corporate ladder. For me, success is staying healthy and doing work I care about.
What I Wish Employers Knew
- Accommodations Are Simple:
- A quiet room, flexible deadlines, or even dimmer lights can make a huge difference for autistic employees.
- Burnout Isn’t Laziness:
- It’s a sign that your employee is overwhelmed and needs support—not a reason to write them off.
- Neurodiversity Is an Asset:
- Autistic people bring unique perspectives, creativity, and problem-solving skills to the table.
Final Thoughts
The dream job is a myth. What we really need are jobs that respect our boundaries, accommodate our needs, and allow us to thrive as our authentic selves.
If you’re struggling in your dream job, know this: you’re not alone, and you’re not ungrateful. You’re human.
And if you need me, you’ll find me here—taking off the mask, one exhausting day at a time.
