Parties are like glitter—dazzling and fun in the moment, but they stick to you long after you leave.
For most people, parties are a way to unwind, connect, and have fun. For me, they’re an Olympic event: navigating sensory chaos, decoding social cues, and trying not to say something weird before my brain overheats.
Once I make it home, the first thing I do is head straight to my room, turn off the lights, and lie down. It’s not a quirky ritual; it’s survival.
Why Parties Are Exhausting for Autistic People
- Sensory Overload:
- Parties are a perfect storm of bright lights, loud music, clinking glasses, and overlapping conversations. It’s like trying to solve a Rubik’s cube while being shouted at in five different languages.
- Masking Fatigue:
- Smiling, nodding, and making small talk might seem effortless, but it takes every ounce of my energy to keep up the act.
- Social Expectations:
- Knowing when to join a conversation, when to leave, and how much to say is a minefield. My brain is constantly analyzing and overthinking.
A Memory of Party Burnout
A few months ago, I went to a friend’s birthday party. I spent the night smiling, chatting, and trying not to seem awkward. At one point, someone asked me what I do for work, and instead of a normal answer, I launched into a detailed explanation of my latest hyper-focus project. Their polite nodding told me I’d gone too far, but I couldn’t stop.
By the time I got home, I felt like I’d run a marathon in heels. My ears were ringing, my head was pounding, and my brain was replaying every social misstep like a broken record. I turned off all the lights, curled up under my weighted blanket, and let the darkness work its magic.
The Healing Power of Darkness
- Sensory Reset:
- Darkness calms my overstimulated senses. It’s a break from the relentless input of sights and sounds.
- Emotional Decompression:
- In the dark, I can let go of the social anxiety and self-doubt that builds up during parties.
- Mental Clarity:
- With no distractions, my thoughts have room to settle, like sand in a shaken jar of water.
How I Prepare for Party Recovery
- Set Boundaries:
- I give myself permission to leave the party early if I start feeling overwhelmed.
- Create a Post-Party Ritual:
- For me, this includes a dark room, my weighted blanket, and calming music or silence.
- Limit Commitments:
- I avoid scheduling back-to-back social events so I have time to recover.
What I Wish People Knew About Post-Party Recovery
- It’s Not Anti-Social:
- Needing time to recover doesn’t mean I didn’t enjoy the party or the people.
- It’s Not Optional:
- Recovery time isn’t a luxury—it’s a necessity for my mental and physical health.
- It’s Worth It:
- The time I spend recovering allows me to be fully present and engaged the next time we meet.
A Literary Tie-In
In The Great Gatsby, F. Scott Fitzgerald wrote, “I like large parties. They’re so intimate. At small parties, there isn’t any privacy.” While Gatsby’s parties were worlds away from my life, that line resonates with me in a twisted way. Large parties might offer anonymity, but the effort it takes to navigate them leaves me needing hours of solitude to recover.
FAQ
Q: Why do you even go to parties if they’re so draining?
A: I go because I value the connections and experiences. It’s not that I dislike parties—it’s that I need extra time to recover afterward.
Q: How do you explain your need for recovery time to friends?
A: I keep it simple: “Parties are really fun, but they take a lot of energy. I just need some quiet time to recharge.”
Q: What happens if you don’t take time to recover?
A: Without recovery, I risk burnout, irritability, and even physical symptoms like headaches or fatigue.
Final Thoughts
Parties might be glittery and chaotic, but they don’t have to leave you shattered. By embracing recovery time and setting boundaries, it’s possible to enjoy the moments that matter without losing yourself in the process.
If you’re someone who needs a post-party reset, know this: it’s okay to take a step back and recharge. You don’t owe anyone an explanation, and your well-being always comes first.
And if you need me, you’ll find me here—in the quiet, under the stars, letting the world settle back into focus.
