I didn’t always know I was autistic. But looking back at family gatherings, the clues were there—clear as day.
There’s my uncle who never speaks unless it’s about quantum physics. My grandmother, who saves every twist tie and receipt because “you never know.” My mom, who memorized every bus route in our city but couldn’t figure out why small talk at parties drained her.
Growing up, I thought these quirks were just, well, family things. It wasn’t until my diagnosis that I began to see the threads connecting us all. Autism runs in my family, not just as a genetic trait, but as a shared way of experiencing the world.
Autism and Genetics: What Science Says
Researchers have long suspected a genetic link to autism. Here’s what we know so far:
- It’s Polygenic: Autism isn’t caused by a single “autism gene.” Instead, it’s influenced by many genetic variations, each contributing a small piece to the puzzle.
- Family Patterns: Studies show that autism tends to run in families. If one sibling is autistic, there’s a higher likelihood that another sibling—or even a parent—may be on the spectrum.
- Not Just Genetics: While genes play a significant role, environmental factors during pregnancy and early development can also influence the likelihood of autism.
For more details, check out this comprehensive overview from Autism Speaks.
Tracing the Neurodivergent Roots of My Family Tree
When I first told my mom about my diagnosis, she wasn’t surprised. “That makes sense,” she said. Then she paused, tilted her head, and added, “You know, your grandpa was probably autistic too.”
It was like a light bulb turned on.
I started piecing together stories and traits:
- Grandpa’s Routines: He ate the same breakfast every day—eggs, toast, and black coffee—and would get visibly upset if the toaster broke.
- Uncle Joe’s Focus: He spent every holiday in the garage building model trains instead of joining the chaos of family dinners.
- Mom’s Sensitivities: She wore earplugs to every Fourth of July fireworks show and claimed she could hear the hum of the refrigerator from the next room.
Suddenly, what I’d always seen as “quirks” looked a lot like autism.
The Blessing (and Challenge) of a Neurodivergent Family
Having a family full of autistic traits can feel like a double-edged sword.
On one hand, they get it. I don’t have to explain why I can’t handle crowded restaurants or why I’d rather stay home with a book than go to a party. They understand the need for routines, quiet time, and deep dives into niche interests.
On the other hand, we’re not great at communicating about emotions. Conversations can feel like a chess match—strategic, deliberate, and occasionally frustrating. And don’t get me started on the family group chat (spoiler: it’s mostly memes and links to Wikipedia pages).
What My Diagnosis Taught Me About My Family
Learning I was autistic didn’t just change how I saw myself—it changed how I saw my family.
It gave me a new appreciation for my mom’s meticulous planning, my uncle’s encyclopedic knowledge, and my grandma’s love of quiet afternoons spent organizing her sewing supplies.
It also gave me the courage to start conversations. “Have you ever wondered if you might be autistic too?” I asked my mom one evening. She smiled, shrugged, and said, “Maybe. But I’ve made it this far, haven’t I?”
Visual Snapshot
I’m sitting at my kitchen table, a cup of tea in one hand and an old photo album in the other. The pictures tell a story of a family that’s equal parts quirky and brilliant—my uncle, grinning beside his model train set; my mom, caught mid-laugh at a joke only she understood; my grandpa, standing proudly beside his meticulously organized garden.
Each photo feels like a breadcrumb, leading me back to the roots of my neurodivergence.
FAQ
Q: If autism is genetic, does that mean my child will inherit it?
A: Not necessarily. Autism is influenced by a combination of genetic and environmental factors, so even if it runs in your family, it’s not a guarantee.
Q: Can someone in my family be autistic without knowing it?
A: Absolutely. Many older generations were never diagnosed because autism wasn’t widely understood or recognized until more recently.
Q: Should I get tested if I suspect I’m autistic?
A: If understanding your neurodivergence could help you navigate your life or access support, it’s worth considering.
Final Thoughts
Autism is woven into the fabric of my family, not as a flaw but as a beautiful, intricate pattern. Learning about my diagnosis helped me see that I wasn’t an outlier—I was part of a larger story.
If you’re tracing the neurodivergent roots in your own family tree, know this: you’re not alone. The branches might twist and turn in unexpected ways, but they lead back to a shared experience that’s worth exploring.
And if you need me, I’ll be here—sipping tea, flipping through old photos, and marveling at the neurodivergent forest I’m lucky to call my family.
