I can’t tell you how many times I’ve sworn off screens. No more doomscrolling, no more blue light frying my eyeballs at 2 a.m., no more mindlessly clicking through Instagram stories of people I don’t even like. And yet, here I am, probably typing this with twenty tabs open and my phone within arm’s reach because I need to feel connected—to what, I don’t even know.
We live in a world where being online is almost mandatory. Work emails ping constantly, social media drags us into its endless vortex, and even relaxation involves staring at a screen. But for neurodivergent people, the relationship with the digital world is even messier. It’s both a lifeline and a trap.
The Struggle to Disconnect
Every attempt at a digital detox feels like walking away from a party where everyone else is still mingling—except the party is also your job, your friends, your entertainment, and your distraction from how loud and overwhelming the rest of life feels. For autistic people, in particular, the online world can be a sanctuary. It’s where the social rules are clear (mostly), the lighting isn’t too harsh, and the sensory overload is contained to a screen.
But it’s also a minefield. Algorithms are designed to keep us hooked, feeding us content we hate but can’t stop consuming. For someone prone to hyperfixation or repetitive behaviors, this can spiral fast. One minute you’re watching a soothing video about bread baking; the next, you’re knee-deep in conspiracy theories about sourdough starter cults. (Yes, I’ve been there.)
What Happens When You Actually Try to Unplug
The last time I attempted a digital detox, I lasted three hours. I thought I’d read a book (paper, not Kindle), but my brain wouldn’t stop asking, What’s happening on Twitter? Did I miss a breaking news story? By hour two, I was spiraling into existential dread about whether I even existed without a Wi-Fi signal. By hour three, I was back on my phone, Googling “why can’t I quit the internet?”
Why Digital Detoxes Fail Neurodivergent People
For neurodivergent people, screens aren’t just distractions—they’re tools for regulation. The steady rhythm of scrolling can feel like a form of stimming. The predictability of online communities provides comfort in a world that often feels too chaotic. And let’s be honest, the internet is often the only place where we can unapologetically be ourselves.
But Maybe We’re Addicted to the Wrong Things
Here’s the brutal truth: our screens aren’t the problem—it’s the systems behind them. The endless feeds, the curated perfection, the dopamine hits of likes and shares—they’re all designed to keep us consuming. Overproductivity isn’t just about work anymore; it’s about being always on. Even when we’re relaxing, we’re doing it performatively—watching movies we can tweet about, reading books we can review, taking naps we can post selfies from (hashtag #selfcare).
A Better Way to Detox
Instead of trying to quit cold turkey, maybe the answer is to curate our online spaces more intentionally. Here are a few ideas:
- Set Boundaries: Use tools like Forest or StayFocusd to limit social media time.
- Curate Your Feed: Follow accounts that inspire, educate, or genuinely bring you joy. (And unfollow the ones that make you feel like crap.)
- Replace, Don’t Remove: Swap mindless scrolling for something tactile, like knitting, drawing, or even just staring out the window. (Yes, it’s boring. That’s the point.)
- Reconnect IRL: Call a friend. Take a walk. Write a letter. (Or write a ranty blog post about how impossible all this feels. That counts too.)
Final Thoughts
The internet isn’t inherently bad, but it’s not neutral either. It’s a mirror, reflecting both the best and worst of us—and for neurodivergent people, it can be a double-edged sword. Disconnecting isn’t about rejecting technology altogether; it’s about reclaiming our time, our energy, and our attention.
So, next time you find yourself rotting in bed with your phone glowing like a beacon of doom, take a breath. Close the app. Or don’t. Maybe just switch to a better one, something that reminds you why you fell in love with the internet in the first place.
