The first time someone told me, “But you don’t look autistic,” I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.
What does autism look like, exactly? Apparently, not like me—someone who occasionally enjoys eye contact, loves public speaking (in controlled settings), and doesn’t rock back and forth during conversations.
Autism myths aren’t just frustrating—they’re harmful. They perpetuate stereotypes, dismiss lived experiences, and make it harder for people like me to be understood. So, let’s break them down, myth by myth.
Myth #1: Autistic People Don’t Make Eye Contact
Eye contact is the holy grail of social norms. And yes, many autistic people find it uncomfortable or even painful. But that doesn’t mean we’re all staring at the ground, avoiding your gaze.
For me, eye contact is complicated. If I’m feeling calm and the conversation is light, I can do it without too much trouble. But when I’m stressed or trying to focus on what you’re saying, looking into your eyes feels like trying to read a book while standing on a tightrope.
Here’s the twist: I learned to fake it. I aim at the space between your eyebrows or glance at your nose. It’s not real eye contact, but most people can’t tell the difference.
Myth #2: All Autistic People Are Geniuses or Savants
Thanks, Hollywood.
Movies like Rain Man have painted a picture of autistic people as either math prodigies or walking encyclopedias. While some autistic people do have incredible talents, most of us are just regular folks with strengths and struggles like anyone else.
My “special skills”? I can hyper-focus on creative projects for hours, but I can’t, for the life of me, remember where I left my car keys.
Myth #3: Autism Is Just a Childhood Condition
Autism isn’t something you grow out of. I’ve been autistic my whole life, and I’ll be autistic when I’m 80.
What changes over time is how I navigate the world. As a kid, I was “quirky” and “shy.” As an adult, I’m “eccentric” and “introverted.” The labels change, but the underlying neurodivergence stays the same.
Myth #4: Autistic People Don’t Feel Empathy
This one hurts the most.
The truth? I feel too much—so much that I often have to shut down to protect myself.
When a friend is upset, I feel their pain as if it’s my own. When I see someone cry, my chest tightens, and my brain spirals into overdrive, trying to figure out how to help. The problem isn’t that I lack empathy; it’s that I often don’t know how to express it in ways neurotypical people expect.
Myth #5: Autism Is a Tragedy
Some people think autism is a life sentence to misery. It’s not.
Yes, there are challenges—sensory overload, social struggles, meltdowns. But there’s also joy: the thrill of diving into a special interest, the comfort of a well-worn routine, the beauty of seeing the world through a different lens.
Autism isn’t something I need to “overcome.” It’s part of who I am.
A Personal Story
I once had a coworker tell me, “You can’t be autistic. You’re too nice!”
I stared at her, speechless. Was she implying autistic people are inherently mean? I wanted to explain that her comment was rooted in a stereotype, but I was too stunned to respond.
Later, I sent her a link to an article about autism in women. She apologized and admitted she’d never considered how different autism could look from one person to the next.
It was a small moment, but it reminded me why it’s so important to challenge these myths—not just for myself, but for every autistic person who’s ever been misunderstood.
How You Can Help Debunk Autism Myths
- Educate Yourself: Read articles, watch videos, and listen to autistic voices. Understanding starts with awareness.
- Ask Questions (Respectfully): If you’re unsure about something, ask—but be open to the answer.
- Challenge Stereotypes: When you hear someone repeating myths, speak up.
- Support Advocacy: Follow and share content from autistic advocates and organizations.
Visual Snapshot
I’m sitting on my couch, a half-finished puzzle spread out on the coffee table in front of me. The TV is on mute, playing a nature documentary—polar bears wandering through snowdrifts, their quiet strength mirroring the calm I feel in this moment.
Beside me, a stack of books about neurodiversity waits to be read, each one a reminder that knowledge is power—and that myths lose their grip when we shine a light on the truth.
FAQ
Q: Are all autistic people bad at socializing?
A: Not at all. Some of us are introverted, others are extroverted, and many fall somewhere in between. Socializing can be draining, but that doesn’t mean we’re bad at it.
Q: How can I tell if someone is autistic?
A: You can’t. Autism isn’t something you can see—it’s a neurological difference that manifests in countless ways. The best way to know? Ask, and listen if they choose to share.
Q: What’s the best way to support an autistic person?
A: Respect their needs, be patient, and educate yourself about autism.
Final Thoughts
Autism myths are like shadows—they only persist in the absence of light. By sharing our stories and challenging stereotypes, we can help create a world where autistic people are seen, heard, and understood.
If you’ve ever believed one of these myths, don’t feel bad. The important thing is to keep learning, keep questioning, and keep listening.
And if you need me, I’ll be here—curled up with my puzzle, sipping tea, and smashing stereotypes one piece at a time.
